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Typhoon Restaurant - Best To Cook Your Own Bugs

By Tymberlin

My boyfriend and I were bug-eating virgins until recently when we dined at the overpriced UNDERinfested bug joint you all know as the Typhoon Restaurant in Santa Monica.

The most alternative activity my boyfriend had engaged in up to this point in his 30-year-life was picking his nose and sticking his treasures(hairs included) on the walls. I'm a different story. It wasn't too big a surprise that I desired a faceful of ants or white worms or what have you.

Inside the restaurant it was cozy and dark... Pretty spacious too. The waiter guys were as nice as your average waiter guys get. They weren't going to win any popularity contest or anything, but service was pleasant enough. Although other patrons have decribed the ant dish as having an "indescribable aftertaste", all we tasted was a tangy blackened pile of shredded oil-DRENCHED shredded potato strips. You had to dig to the bottom to reach 50% of the crispy ants. If I had gotten out my torch to find the nearest ant hill and one potato, I might have saved myself $5.75. This dish costs you $6.00. Nuts. The seaworms tasted no different than a milder version of baby anchovies, and again, you were lost in a tan nebula of artery-clogging potato shreds overshadowing the basic flavor of the bugs. Meanwhile, the Scorpion dish was a cowardly admixure of 70% toast and 30% scorpion buried almost completely out of the tastebuds' reach. The damn stuff tasted like, well, toast... even when straining your imagination! We each received two meagerly 3" by 3" pieces of scorpion toast. I will say this, the crickets were actually worth half their cost. They had a definite flavor which is INDESCRIBABLE(At least to us). They did taste a little nutty and were pretty ok. Unfortunately, the unique flavor of the crickets was dulled somewhat by the invasive relentless uniformity of the chef's obssesively ubiqutous fried potatoes strips. Our three dishes all cost us $6.00 a piece. Not worth it even for novelty's sake. Our advice:take your picnic basket and blankie and shovel to the park (except for scorpions) and break out the charcoal.

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